When she's ten feet tall.

Alice told me her big secret. She's my cousin.

Damn her. I was totally grooving on her. I could've hung with her pretty much forever. But no.

She has to be family. I can't date family! They're all intrigue-y and stuff. And, besides, the women in this family are not to be trusted.

I still like her, ya know... friends... I just can't bring myself to pork her anymore, which kinda rules out dating. Not entirely, mind, but there'd be no point to it.

And there's no one I feel I can talk to about this.